Fusses and Flussians
by PaperPrince
Summary: The Doctor finds himself stuck on an alien planet after a fight with River before being rescued by some really strange aliens who seem to know him! Read to find out more. Note Fic contains some language and silliness.


They had argued and she had left along with the Tardis (who as usual had taken her side) leaving him stuck in a jail cell on some hostile planet he had yet to know the name of. The Doctor had never been in this quadrant before nor had he been in this particular century, the 61st. Everything was new to him exotic and exciting, just the way he liked it or at least he had until River had abandoned him.

The Doctor sighed some wedding anniversary this was turning out to be. He turned back to the rock like slab of a bed and the open metal blue tin that was resting on it. He had worked so hard on her gift and she didn't even like it let alone want it. He sighed maybe the guards would like it enough to let him go, or at the very least turn a blind eye to his escape. He picked the tin up fixing the lid shut as he made his way towards the locked steel door.

He didn't get a chance to ask however as the wall to the right of him suddenly caved in sending rubble and dust everywhere. Once the dust had cleared the Doctor found himself staring at the oddest space ship he had ever seen in his life.

It was large and white and cat shaped. In front of it stood two bickering humanoid alien beings, both completely dissimilar to each other suggesting that they were different species altogether. If it wasn't for the fact they were wearing the same type of silver jump suit the Doctor wouldn't have realised they were together at all.

One was tall and lizard like while the other seemed mostly human save for the large curly horns a top of her head and her woolly candyfloss like pink hair. The lizard appeared to be male, scaly and well orange all over, from the tips of his spiky hair, to his talon like nails down to his webbed toes.

The female (who is beginning to reminded the Doctor of an angry sheep) yell "That's it Medic next time I'm driving! I told you to watch out for the wall" ah thought the Doctor this wasn't an impromptu rescue after all. Which was a shame as it was beginning to seem like River wasn't coming back anytime soon. A loud siren penetrates the cell walls interrupting the argument. "The prisoner is escaping, note this is not a test!" Screams a voice "This is not a test, this is not a test"

The two aliens finally notice their surroundings and the Doctor who is just standing their awkwardly holding his tin. The Doctor coughs "we should probably get out of here" He tells them "you know before the monsters start chasing us"

The lizard looks at the device in his hand " We might as well take him with us. I've lost the signal anyway" The girl nods and touches her big blue earring "Sugar calling, take us up please mother".

Everything suddenly goes dark and the Doctor feels all funny and bubbly for a few seconds before everything becomes normal and he can see again. He discovers they have materialised inside the ship.

Despite its largeness the inside feels cramped and cluttered compared with the Tardis, as mess lies everywhere, clearly they aren't the tidiest of creatures. The dark walls are full of buttons that glimmer like stars. In the center of the wall sits an enormous but cracked screen.

The guy, Medic fiddles with some buttons and leavers on the table and suddenly the broken monitor flickers alive. A face appears on it of a young humanoid sporting a brightly coloured Mohawk that changes colour as he flickers on the screen. He scowls at the Doctor as if he can see him standing there with his bowtie crooked and his shirt half done up before turning to the girl. " What you brats want now?" he asks grumpily.

Sugar smiles sweetly at the screen " Mother take us out of here now!" The computer just glares at her "Uh please?" The computer huffs " Fine then". The floor shakes violently knocking the three of them into chairs. The force of the take off makes the Doctor's mouth go all wibberly wobbly for a moment or two and then they're in space, zooming past stars and planets in the blink of an eye.

He looks at the others and notices that the orange one had turned green and it looks like he's about to throw up. The Doctor gets the sonic out about to scan him but the girl pushes a hand in front of the device turning it on the Doctor. "We'd rather you didn't Doctor". She says. The Doctor looks at her "It wont hurt I promise, wait how do you know my name?" " We know all about you Doctor, we're Flussians after all" as if that explains everything to the Doctor.

The Medic collapses before the Doctor can question her further. The computer laughs and calls him a baby angering Sugar who shoots the screen with a laser gun the Doctor hadn't noticed she possessed. The screen goes blank leaving them to their own devices. "Got any more bright ideas?" Asks the Doctor who is starting to worry slightly. "Don't worry Doctor I didn't cause any damage, Mother's just sulking"

The Doctor glances at the body sprawled out clumsily beside him. "What should we do about him then?" "Oh a nice cup of tea will sort him out, time travel just takes it out of him". She says breezily turning into the small kitchenette at the side of the control room.

"So what's a Flussian anyway?" he calls after her "Some sort of cult?" Her loud laughter vibrates through the ship. "Guess again Doctor if you win we'll take you anywhere you want to go, maybe even help you find your companion".

"A religion then?" he asks not bothering to ask how she knows about River. She's a dam time traveller after all. "Wrong again" The game continues for a while, irritating the hell out of the Doctor as he hates not knowing things. He fails yet again and wishes River were here with him as she was good with puzzles.

He's still guessing by the time she has returned with three boiling mugs of tea and a plate of snacks. She hands one to him and he tastes it. Earl grey, fascinating. "Delicious" says the recovering Medic as he sips his own mug, the colour returning to his cheeks. It was then the Doctor spotted it, a single Jammie Dodger lying inconspicuously amongst the other interesting nibbles. It called out to him, begging him to eat it, so he did.

And then all hell broke lose. He found himself shoved against the wall, gun at his head. "That was the last biscuit" Snarled Sugar. " The Doctor smiles weekly "Guess you better go to the shops then" " I can't, they're really rare in this time period because of the jam wars " "Oh" says the Doctor suddenly feeling like a prick.

Medic staggers to his feet "Sugar let him go before you do something stupid like killing him and creating a paradox" she whips round turning the gun on him, Medic staggers back knocking the tin box onto the floor as he does so. The contents spill from the upturned container rapidly filling the floor of the room. "Quick pick the box up" yelled the Doctor "Its programmed to provide a never ending supply of Jammie Dodgers" Medic picks the box up and carefully places it back on the table.

"Guess we've solved the biscuit problem" says Medic diffusing the tension in the room. Sugar puts her gun away and grabs a biscuit. "So Doctor any idea who we are yet?"

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><p><strong>Note if you think you have an idea who or what the Flussian are please don't hesitate to tell me via review!<strong>


End file.
